Potty Training - blog #1 or is that a #2 I see coming??

Potty Training

what? There are trains on my wee-wee?

We've been potty training.  For about 2 weeks. I'm over it. I mean covered in it! I have been peed on more times than an Elephant handler. 

My child has NO problems telling me when he has to go, he's almost 26 months and is extremely intelligent in my book. He tells me whether it's pee or poop, if he needs to sit or stand and even volunteers to wipe himself and throw it in the toilet and proceeds to flush. 2x sometimes 3x, depends on if he thinks all the poo is gone.  Don't get me wrong, this is very exciting! He is ahead of the game! He thinks pooping in the toilet is cool! (um, except the other day when I was on a ladder with my head in the attic and he pooped in the corner of my closet - now we wear undies at all times) 

But here are the problems.....he's short, the stools are too tall, his "hole" is too North?!? The kid cannot get the pee IN THE TOILET.  I have said "point it down, point it down, point it down" so many times that I feel like slapping myself! So how do you teach a 2 year old to point "it" down when he practically has to break the dang thing to get the pee to go in the toilet and not on the wall, floor, shower curtain, vanity, his shirt, my shirt, his brother, our dog, my face, my neck, and yes....my eye.  I posted on FB that at some point in my life I'm sure that I have done something to deserve a pee in the eye ;) BUT COME ON! We have tried sitting, standing, leaning forward & yes, unfortunately some yelling (what do you expect, I have a 10 month old that is constantly at the helm trying to reach into the toilet to splash or pull out the toilet paper).

So I asked a friend who just potty trained her almost 3 year old twin boys.  She said "Oh! Those stools are too tall" (um, yeah I figured that out when he peed on the towel rack above the toilet). So she said her mom said, "wrap a telephone book in duct tape". Turns out that is an awesome solution! Except I'm a technology freak so we don't own phone books.  I went to the book shelf and proceeded to stack a What to Expect in the 1st Year Book & Your Guide To Breast-Feeding and wrap them in duct tape. (It kinda felt like I was sticking it to the "man" - ha! Take that stupid 1st year book that tells you if your child is developing normal & here it's so easy to breast feed, just do this and if it hurts you're doing it wrong!) my child is going to pee all over you! 

So now we stand on duct taped books, the pee only hits the tank or wall if standing and the lower part of the shower curtain or rug if sitting. He rarely will let me help, loves to clean it all up, and promptly asks for candy after he's done. - yes candy - Hey I'm diapering 2 children over here so whatever works! So I find myself washing the pee off my dry, cracked, peed on hands and handing him his 2 Smarties as his reward and pray that he can at least hold it for like 20 minutes before we have to do this all over again!!!!!!