So I've been patting myself on the back at every chance for the recent accomplishments that have been made in my home....the potty training of my 2 year old, the walking of my 10 1/2 month old who is also bottle free, and most recently, a PACIFIER free 2 year old as of yesterday.....It's a lot that has been going on around here in the past 2 months I'd say, and some days I want to pull my hair out, some days I drink a whole bottle of wine before bed, some days I think WHY WHY WHY ME???? WHY DID I DO THIS? and then most days....I lean over and cover them up, caress their cheeks and marvel at what a miracle my body created (and I have the marks, lumps, bump, aches & pains to prove it)....
Now on any given day probably 20 things happen from sunup to sundown that are either ridiculous or funny.....mostly ridiculously funny but piss me off at the moment....I'm one of those people that DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT like to make "trips"...I will literally pull a muscle, cut off all circulation in my fingers and arms to carry the groceries in the door and heave them up onto the counter in order to prevent multiple trips.....I have busted gallons of milk, I have broken jars of spaghetti sauce, I have dropped loaves of bread, ripped boxes of diapers, cases of pop have rolled down my driveway....yes, I know this is ridiculous....yet, every week I find myself trying to carry more and more.
On our way out today to visit Nana, and then later to see Daddy & Papa selling Xmas trees for the local Lion's Club.....I loaded up the diaper bag - drinks, snacks, toys, hats, gloves, books, along with the normal diapers/wipes, extra clothes, etc.....then put my purse over my shoulder along with it, carried my coat, both boys hooded sweatshirts & a winter coat (in case the temp dropped and my 2 year old wanted to stay with Daddy and sell trees)....AND then bent down to pick up my 11 month old. Now picture this...diaper bag, purse, 4 coats, 11 month old and a 2 year old trying to make it out the front door.....because I'M NOT MAKING 2 TRIPS......I pushed the storm door open with my foot and said hurry go! Go! Go!.....as my 2 year old took his sweet ass time carefully stepping down I pushed the storm door open with my foot 2 more times and then forgot.................YES I FORGOT.......and it slammed shut right on my 11 month olds head as I stepped out the door......holy mother of God I felt horrible..... maybe next time I'll carry them out to the car first??
So that was probably event #15 out of #20 for the day.....however #20 is a real whopper of a Mother of the Year moment.... My son loves Shrek. So when I saw Shrek the Halls was on Prime time last week, I recorded it.....then we watched it the other day...he was sooooo excited! I watched maybe the first 10 minutes. It was cute, not too inappropriate. Especially b/c he's 2 and doesn't understand most of it. So tonight to help him wind down while I cleaned the kitchen I turned it on and went to work......a little while later he comes out to me and is holding his stomach and shaking his head NO at me and saying "Santa" "Santa" "Santa" all the while looking like he's going to jump out of his own skin.....so I came out and he said "again" which in 2 year old language means "rewind"....so I rewound it about 60 seconds..............AND THERE WAS SANTA....EATING THE GINGERBREAD COOKIE CHARACTERS WITH A HUGE SCARY MOUTH AND BIG TEETH.....for the love of God. He was scared of "Santa" whom I've been talking up for days and days and using the damn elf and meanwhile I've been playing "Scary bad Santa eats fun little people" for him when I'm busy.......................Yup...Mother of the freaking year right here!!!
